tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post114566973779702290..comments2023-12-29T20:49:43.018-07:00Comments on masago-no-haiku: Part I: Brass CapsuleMasagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1146011153455014822006-04-25T18:25:00.000-06:002006-04-25T18:25:00.000-06:00Tim/Pat: Thanks.Andrew: Glad to be an inspiration,...Tim/Pat: Thanks.<BR/><BR/>Andrew: Glad to be an inspiration, please let me (us) know when you've created something.Masagohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1145877815689718782006-04-24T05:23:00.000-06:002006-04-24T05:23:00.000-06:00Always more sealed in the cannister!! Good one!!Always more sealed in the cannister!! Good one!!Pat Paulkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03673667238840127360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1145847031385983022006-04-23T20:50:00.000-06:002006-04-23T20:50:00.000-06:00I love this idea!! I may look for old journals of ...I love this idea!! I may look for old journals of mine from the past, too.J. Andrew Lockharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12567156257114496618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1145764897828120472006-04-22T22:01:00.000-06:002006-04-22T22:01:00.000-06:00Tim: Thanks, I hope you enjoy the rest of the post...Tim: Thanks, I hope you enjoy the rest of the posts in this series.<BR/><BR/>Pearl: I'm pleased you "dropped by". Nice variation.<BR/><BR/>Polona: Thanks for the feedback. I think you are right. I don't claim that this series is proper haibun, however, I have posted a revision of the haiku. Original:<BR/><BR/>summer evening...<BR/>several things are put<BR/>in a brass capsule<BR/><BR/>Revision:<BR/><BR/>summer evening...<BR/>more than beans and pennies<BR/>sealed in brassMasagohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1145734806647046302006-04-22T13:40:00.000-06:002006-04-22T13:40:00.000-06:00i like the text, it sure has potential as a haibun...i like the text, it sure has potential as a haibun. but i read the haiku as a mere resume of the text. <BR/>i'm no expert but the haibun usually works better if there is a subtler link between the text and the haiku.polonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12631341810150848122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1145725114389384352006-04-22T10:58:00.000-06:002006-04-22T10:58:00.000-06:00Sounds like a soul-filling experience. I just dis...Sounds like a soul-filling experience. <BR/> I just discovered your poems through a comment yo made somewhere.<BR/><BR/>may I play with your words?<BR/><BR/>summer evening...<BR/>pennies, beans, words, <BR/>enclosed in brass<BR/><BR/>what do you think? too painterly like that?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com