tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post116017560927792631..comments2023-12-29T20:49:43.018-07:00Comments on masago-no-haiku: 803. Winter VacationMasagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1160428193880098542006-10-09T15:09:00.000-06:002006-10-09T15:09:00.000-06:00Aurora: Thank you, I may use it later when we get ...Aurora: Thank you, I may use it later when we get closer to winter.Masagohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1160273042776041132006-10-07T20:04:00.000-06:002006-10-07T20:04:00.000-06:00Hototogisu: Thank you. Ah Buson...Tikkis: :-)Prado...Hototogisu: Thank you. Ah Buson...<BR/><BR/>Tikkis: :-)<BR/><BR/>Prado: Thank you for not trying to be mean. From the perspective of one of the schools of haiku appreciation this haiku has the problem you point out. Perhaps the following is more in the "show" style:<BR/><BR/>first snowfall...<BR/>a tuft of feathers hang<BR/>on the birdhouse holeMasagohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12739811491183011023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1160249503884057162006-10-07T13:31:00.000-06:002006-10-07T13:31:00.000-06:00this piece doesn't work.it could if you showinstea...this piece doesn't work.<BR/><BR/>it could if you show<BR/>instead of tell.<BR/><BR/>not trying to be mean, <BR/>just helpful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1160203453158025552006-10-07T00:44:00.000-06:002006-10-07T00:44:00.000-06:00"For Rent!" (Heating expenses not included!)"For Rent!" <BR/>(Heating expenses <BR/>not included!)Tikkishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16405806987636579199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8126207.post-1160184144233879422006-10-06T19:22:00.000-06:002006-10-06T19:22:00.000-06:00masago, i like the empty feeling this piece convey...masago, i like the empty feeling this piece conveys. it brings to my mind a poem by yosa buson:<BR/><BR/>the Flower Festival --<BR/>a mother's womb is only for<BR/>temporary lodgingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com