Renhai Reflections 180: Dispatching

A Renhai by Jerry McKenzie (jm) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

The shovel's crunch
sends mice scurrying
out of their nests. /jm

A sudden rythymic whooshing... /jm&vs
the honk of low-flying geese. /vs&jm

A first warming day,
the song of their return...
not in sight. /vs

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Dianne said...

very visceral and audible. however, the geese sound of return not in sight mixes up the senses too much for me, but that's just my take on it.
the poem is beautiful with clear contrasts and imagery for the 1st 3 stanzas, I love it!

John McDonald said...


Bill said...

Very nice.

Masago said...

Thanks all!

Dianne, thanks for your warm comments. Actually the last verse is not referring to the geese but to other bird(s) which I had not been hearing all winter; I could hear them but try as I might, I couldn't locate where they were exactly, most likely in some nearby tree (btw, each verse in renhai is generally independent but linked).

Gillena Cox said...

love the word "whooshing"

much love

Ralf Bröker said...

Line five is a a very present haiku-moment. The last three lines seem to disguise loneliness, but at least it is a perfect description of flurry and expectation. And the sound of the first three: very good.

Best wishes

Masago said...

Thanks too, Gillena & Ralf!

voyance gratuite par email said...

You clearly know so much about the subject, you’ve covered so many bases.