2008-07-16

Rengay Through the Seasons #46 [1-4]

by Masago: Rengay #46 (Jul 13-19, 2008), Verses 1-4 (of 6)

After the storm... the ground receives a kiss / from the rose.
Our lovers' quarrel ends — the make-up smooch begins.
She presses / a tissue between her lips — lipstick remains.
Perched on a stick — he pecks at the budgie / in the mirror.


[I received some off-line feedback about the following verse that I posted last night:

Noticed after
arriving home late —
lipstick stains.

It seems that this verse tends to bring down the up-lifting feeling of the previous verse about quarreling lovers making up. I tend to agree so I have therefore replaced it with the "tissue" verse above. Hopefully you too will prefer the replacement.]

Click here for the previous rengay in the series.

6 comments:

pete said...

haiku in esperanto?
why would you do that?
master english language haiku first.

pete

Masago said...

Pete: You may be right... thus the absence of any Esperanto-language haiku postings here (kaj mi devas labori por plilerni Esperaton).

John McDonald said...

nice one vaughn
john

polona said...

well, the third verse does feel lighter now... and the fourth is cute :)

Masago said...

John: Thanks.

Polona: :-) Thanks.

Janice Thomson said...

I like the replacement verse too.

I've watched parrots do that in the mirror - it's funny.