2008-07-16

Rengay Through the Seasons #46 [1-4]

by Masago: Rengay #46 (Jul 13-19, 2008), Verses 1-4 (of 6)

After the storm... the ground receives a kiss / from the rose.
Our lovers' quarrel ends — the make-up smooch begins.
She presses / a tissue between her lips — lipstick remains.
Perched on a stick — he pecks at the budgie / in the mirror.


[I received some off-line feedback about the following verse that I posted last night:

Noticed after
arriving home late —
lipstick stains.

It seems that this verse tends to bring down the up-lifting feeling of the previous verse about quarreling lovers making up. I tend to agree so I have therefore replaced it with the "tissue" verse above. Hopefully you too will prefer the replacement.]

Click here for the previous rengay in the series.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

haiku in esperanto?
why would you do that?
master english language haiku first.

pete

Masago said...

Pete: You may be right... thus the absence of any Esperanto-language haiku postings here (kaj mi devas labori por plilerni Esperaton).

polona said...

well, the third verse does feel lighter now... and the fourth is cute :)

Masago said...

John: Thanks.

Polona: :-) Thanks.

Janice Thomson said...

I like the replacement verse too.

I've watched parrots do that in the mirror - it's funny.