2009-07-08

Renhai Reflections 122: Fleeting Attractions


Fleeting Attractions

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Zhanna P. Rader (zh.r)

Patch of phlox —
at each flower a bee
seems to hurry. /vs

Spider web, dew-jeweled — /zh.r
a butterfly flits and flutters. /vs

A young man
strolls through the mall —
flirty skirts. /zh.r

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0162.htm

8 comments:

Devika said...

Yes, fleeting attractions in a floating life...who knows when it all would end!

wondering what the young man would do with the skirt :))

wishes,
devika

Anonymous said...

Devika, "flirty skirts" might be girls wearing skirts and walking by. Unfortunately, renahi is too short to tell what the young man may do with "a skirt". :)

Zhanna

Devika said...

haha! never expected a response to that, Zhanna :)

i know, Zhanna...lines left to imagination are a pleasure to read...i was just wondering aloud what all a young man may do there....ofcourse, there are many things that my mind can imagine as an woman in Indian streets/malls...but the gentle man in your poem may not be so! :)

wishes,
devika

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

nice work!

John McDonald said...

yes nice work
john

RBroeker said...

What shall I say: It is again the sound of these lines which pulls me directly into the verse. Patch and phlox, eachs and bee, bee and seems, web and dew-jeweled, "butterfly flits and flutters", strolls and mall, flirty and skirts - and all thse cross-connections from here to there.

Best wishes
Ralf

Masago said...

Thank you all!

jem said...

There are some real strong word sounds running through this, that tie it together nicely -

patch of phlox / flits and flutters / flirty skirts

Well done to you both.