Vaughn & Zhanna
The following is the second Renhai in this three-way series. Note that the second line, "crows perch on ice-glazed branches" is the same line that Zhanna wrote for the middle verse of yesterday's "Ice-Glazed Branches" Renhai. These two Renhai therefore share a common line written by Zhanna.
Hanging in There
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs), and Zhanna P. Rader (zr)
Written Dec 26 - Jan 6, 2008
Dark, musty cave —
Big Brown bats hang in their
hibernating stupor. /zr
A chilly breeze fills the air — /vs
crows perch on ice-glazed branches. /zr
Snow-covered meadow —
a deer scratches out
a patch of grass. /vs
Theme: Winter survival
Season: Winter
Link 1 to 2: Hang / Perch; Bats inside / Crows outside
Link 2 to 3: Feet
Link 3 to 1: Light, snow-filled / Dark, hollow
2008-09-28
Renhai Reflections 17: Three-way #1, Ice-Glazed Branches
Zhanna & Hortensia
[Note: In the last post I mentioned we'd be looking at the three-way Renhai. However, I mistakenly said that the "Miles Around" Renhai with Hortensia was the first renhai of the three-way. It was in fact the first renhai Hortensia and I had written together. The actual first renhai of the three-way was written by Zhanna and Hortensia.]
A three-way Renhai consists of three inter-related Renhai written by three different writers in which each pair of Renhai share a common line in their middle verses. In other words, each writer writes one middle line that is used in two of the renhai. It is as if the Renhai have a shared DNA and are true siblings even though they have different and distinct themes. Here is the first Renhai in this three-way series:
Ice-Glazed Branches
A Renhai by Hortensia Anderson (ha), and Zhanna P. Rader (zr);
Dec 13 - Jan 3, 2008
Scrape of blades —
by a line of evergreens
the snowplow stops. /ha
Crows perch on ice-glazed branches — /zr
skaters at the pond hold hands. /ha
Frozen river —
an early-bird fisherman
drills a hole. /zr
Theme: Ice
Season: Winter
Link 1 to 2: Blades
Link 2 to 3: Crows / Early bird; Pond / River
Link 3 to 1: Drilling / Plowing
The first verse has a pun in it — the most basic stop in ice skating is called the "snowplow stop".
[Note: In the last post I mentioned we'd be looking at the three-way Renhai. However, I mistakenly said that the "Miles Around" Renhai with Hortensia was the first renhai of the three-way. It was in fact the first renhai Hortensia and I had written together. The actual first renhai of the three-way was written by Zhanna and Hortensia.]
A three-way Renhai consists of three inter-related Renhai written by three different writers in which each pair of Renhai share a common line in their middle verses. In other words, each writer writes one middle line that is used in two of the renhai. It is as if the Renhai have a shared DNA and are true siblings even though they have different and distinct themes. Here is the first Renhai in this three-way series:
Ice-Glazed Branches
A Renhai by Hortensia Anderson (ha), and Zhanna P. Rader (zr);
Dec 13 - Jan 3, 2008
Scrape of blades —
by a line of evergreens
the snowplow stops. /ha
Crows perch on ice-glazed branches — /zr
skaters at the pond hold hands. /ha
Frozen river —
an early-bird fisherman
drills a hole. /zr
Theme: Ice
Season: Winter
Link 1 to 2: Blades
Link 2 to 3: Crows / Early bird; Pond / River
Link 3 to 1: Drilling / Plowing
The first verse has a pun in it — the most basic stop in ice skating is called the "snowplow stop".
2008-09-25
Renhai Reflections 16: Miles Around
Miles Around
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs), and Hortensia Anderson (ha)
Written Nov 29 - Dec 6, 2007
Dawn's cloud cover —
the pale grey sky deepens
with the dusk. /ha
Untouched snow for miles around — /ha
faint tree line in the distance. /vs
Empty nest —
a weathered bit of string
hangs from a twig. /vs
Theme: Untouched
Season: Winter
Link 1 to 2: Sky / Horizon
Link 2 to 3: Tree / Twig
Link 3 to 1: Weathered / Pale
The untouched theme is referenced in verse 1 by the feeling of the sky being normally out of reach. "We had been fishing in the winter (the whole day - but in a boat) and at dawn, the sky was nothing but cloud cover. On our way back, as the sky darkened, I noticed we never had seen a sun. That 'dawn's pale cloud cover' was still there and grey, only deepening with dusk. It was like a rippling sky - like washable silk."
In verse 3 "untouched" is portrayed by the empty nest of the birds that had flown south for the winter.
This is another early Renhai written with Hortensia Anderson of New York city. It is the first of a three-way set of Renhai with Hortensia, myself, and Zhanna P. Rader (of Georgia). We'll look more into what a three-way is all about after posting the other two Renhai.
2008-09-21
Renhai Reflections 15: But One
Yet Another Solo Renhai
But One
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
August 18, 2008
Picket fence —
a missing board lying
on the grass.
Roadside loosestrife,
one stalk flat down.
Birds in the hedge —
all of them bluebirds
but one, a sparrow.
Theme: One among, different
Season: Summer
Link 1 to 2: Lying flat; Herbiage.
Link 2 to 3: Blue.
Link 3 to 1: Hedge / Fence.
This solo Renhai was inspired by a clump of loostrife that grew across from our backyard most of this past summer. Loostrife is considered a weed but I love their beautiful little bluebell-like blossoms that run up each stalk:
http://tinyurl.com/4x2ra6
But One
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
August 18, 2008
Picket fence —
a missing board lying
on the grass.
Roadside loosestrife,
one stalk flat down.
Birds in the hedge —
all of them bluebirds
but one, a sparrow.
Theme: One among, different
Season: Summer
Link 1 to 2: Lying flat; Herbiage.
Link 2 to 3: Blue.
Link 3 to 1: Hedge / Fence.
This solo Renhai was inspired by a clump of loostrife that grew across from our backyard most of this past summer. Loostrife is considered a weed but I love their beautiful little bluebell-like blossoms that run up each stalk:
http://tinyurl.com/4x2ra6
2008-09-17
Renhai Reflections 14: Impressed
Another Solo Renhai
Impressed
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
August 25, 2007
Baking Tortillas —
one comes out just like
the map of Spain.
Impressed patch of underbrush,
the size of a bull moose.
A night's sleep —
she awakes with graffiti
on her cheek.
Theme: Impressions
Season: Summer/Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Flattened.
Link 2 to 3: Sleep.
Link 3 to 1: Outlined image.
This is another solo Renhai that was written at the end summer. In this case the middle verse was written at one sitting and not the line-at-a-time approach which is necessary with Renhai* written with a partner.
*As with Haiku, the plural of 'Renhai' is just 'Renhai'.
Impressed
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
August 25, 2007
Baking Tortillas —
one comes out just like
the map of Spain.
Impressed patch of underbrush,
the size of a bull moose.
A night's sleep —
she awakes with graffiti
on her cheek.
Theme: Impressions
Season: Summer/Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Flattened.
Link 2 to 3: Sleep.
Link 3 to 1: Outlined image.
This is another solo Renhai that was written at the end summer. In this case the middle verse was written at one sitting and not the line-at-a-time approach which is necessary with Renhai* written with a partner.
*As with Haiku, the plural of 'Renhai' is just 'Renhai'.
2008-09-15
Renhai Reflections 13: Sailing On
A Solo Renhai
Sailing On
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
July 23-27, 2008
Giant sequoia —
a butterfly's wings open
then close...
Distant waves shimmer —
a tiny speck sails on.
Blue sky —
his red balloon slips
out of his hand.
Season: Summer (Butterfly; Sailing; Balloon)
Theme: Contrasted Size
Pattern: Verse 1=Land; Verse 2=Water; Verse 3=Air
Link: 1 to 2: Waving.
Link: 2 to 3: Sailing.
Link: 3 to 1: Flying.
In writing this solo Renhai I took on the role two imaginary partners and actually worked through the seven steps of writing a renhai in yesterday's post (starting with "Distant waves shimmer" as the first line of the middle verse).
Sailing On
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward
July 23-27, 2008
Giant sequoia —
a butterfly's wings open
then close...
Distant waves shimmer —
a tiny speck sails on.
Blue sky —
his red balloon slips
out of his hand.
Season: Summer (Butterfly; Sailing; Balloon)
Theme: Contrasted Size
Pattern: Verse 1=Land; Verse 2=Water; Verse 3=Air
Link: 1 to 2: Waving.
Link: 2 to 3: Sailing.
Link: 3 to 1: Flying.
In writing this solo Renhai I took on the role two imaginary partners and actually worked through the seven steps of writing a renhai in yesterday's post (starting with "Distant waves shimmer" as the first line of the middle verse).
2008-09-14
Renhai Reflections 12: Renhai Summary
Renhai: What & How
Before moving on to further Renhai examples, here is a summary of what Renhai is and how it is usually written:
A Minimum Definition of Renhai:
1. Three independent haiku (formatted as 3-lines, 2-lines, 3-lines).
2. Each haiku (verse) links uniquely to the other two verses in some way.
3. Each verse references at least one common theme.
4. A seasonal reference (kigo) is desired. If there is a season then only one season is referenced by at least one verse. If there is no kigo then the renhai should be nature-based and would be considered "Non-seasonal" or "All seasonal".
5. There is an appropriate title.
How the verses link, what constitutes an appropriate title, and other details such as format and style are refinements that are left up to the writers.
Seven Basic Steps to Composing a Renhai:
1. Agree on a season in which to write.
2. Write the Middle Verse, First Line (partner 1).
3. Write the Middle Verse, Second Line (partner 2).
4. Choose a Theme.
5. Write the Third Verse (partner 1).
6. Write the First Verse (partner 2).
7. Choose a Title.
Although Renhai was intended as a collaborative verse form, some members of the Renhai Studio spontaneously started writing Renhai on their own, perhaps while waiting for a partner to come free. Tomorrow I'll present a summer solo Renhai I recently wrote.
Before moving on to further Renhai examples, here is a summary of what Renhai is and how it is usually written:
A Minimum Definition of Renhai:
1. Three independent haiku (formatted as 3-lines, 2-lines, 3-lines).
2. Each haiku (verse) links uniquely to the other two verses in some way.
3. Each verse references at least one common theme.
4. A seasonal reference (kigo) is desired. If there is a season then only one season is referenced by at least one verse. If there is no kigo then the renhai should be nature-based and would be considered "Non-seasonal" or "All seasonal".
5. There is an appropriate title.
How the verses link, what constitutes an appropriate title, and other details such as format and style are refinements that are left up to the writers.
Seven Basic Steps to Composing a Renhai:
1. Agree on a season in which to write.
2. Write the Middle Verse, First Line (partner 1).
3. Write the Middle Verse, Second Line (partner 2).
4. Choose a Theme.
5. Write the Third Verse (partner 1).
6. Write the First Verse (partner 2).
7. Choose a Title.
Although Renhai was intended as a collaborative verse form, some members of the Renhai Studio spontaneously started writing Renhai on their own, perhaps while waiting for a partner to come free. Tomorrow I'll present a summer solo Renhai I recently wrote.
2008-09-10
Renhai Reflections 10: Fairy Ring
Renhai Example: Fairy Ring
Fairy Ring
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs), and Zhanna P. Rader (zr)
Renhai #2, Nov 16-23, 2007
Totem pole —
a lone eagle circles
high above. /vs
A fairy ring on the lawn — /zr
the gnome, to his chin in leaves. /vs
Easter Island —
tourists walk around moai,
necks craned, mouths open. /zr
Theme 1: Mythical, statue-like object.
Theme 2: Circular.
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Up in the sky / Low on the ground.
Link 2 to 3: Gathered around (Leaves / Tourists).
Link 3 to 1: a) Aboriginal; b) Living creatures (Eagle / Tourists).
Notes: Moai are monolithic human figures carved from rock on Rapa Nui / Easter Island, mostly between 1250 and 1500 CE.
Fairy Ring
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs), and Zhanna P. Rader (zr)
Renhai #2, Nov 16-23, 2007
Totem pole —
a lone eagle circles
high above. /vs
A fairy ring on the lawn — /zr
the gnome, to his chin in leaves. /vs
Easter Island —
tourists walk around moai,
necks craned, mouths open. /zr
Theme 1: Mythical, statue-like object.
Theme 2: Circular.
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Up in the sky / Low on the ground.
Link 2 to 3: Gathered around (Leaves / Tourists).
Link 3 to 1: a) Aboriginal; b) Living creatures (Eagle / Tourists).
Notes: Moai are monolithic human figures carved from rock on Rapa Nui / Easter Island, mostly between 1250 and 1500 CE.
2008-09-09
Renhai Reflections 9: Introduction #9
Renhai Anatomy: The First Verse
In this Renhai the last verse written was actually the first verse in the Renhai:
Still autumn night —
each patch of the forest,
full of darkness. /vs
Blanket of velvet-gray fog — /zr
a crow pierces the silence. /vs
Coffee aroma
permeates the morning air —
sudden rain... /zr
This creates a balanced alternating pattern of authors: /vs, /zr, /vs, /zr. However, this is not an essential requirement of renhai and sometimes the writers will find that after writing a renhai that it reads better having verses 1 & 3 switched around.
The theme in verse 1 above is supported by the darkness permeating the forest. The link from verse 1 to the middle verse is the concept of stillness/silence, i.e.:
Here is the associated worksheet for this renhai:
http://tinyurl.com/677fv6
One last note about Renhai is that, like Rengay, the verses show a linked series of stand-alone haiku which all reference a common theme. There is no need for them to be narrative, although writers are free to do so.
Next: Another Renhai Example
In this Renhai the last verse written was actually the first verse in the Renhai:
Still autumn night —
each patch of the forest,
full of darkness. /vs
Blanket of velvet-gray fog — /zr
a crow pierces the silence. /vs
Coffee aroma
permeates the morning air —
sudden rain... /zr
This creates a balanced alternating pattern of authors: /vs, /zr, /vs, /zr. However, this is not an essential requirement of renhai and sometimes the writers will find that after writing a renhai that it reads better having verses 1 & 3 switched around.
The theme in verse 1 above is supported by the darkness permeating the forest. The link from verse 1 to the middle verse is the concept of stillness/silence, i.e.:
- First verse: still autumn night.
- Middle verse: Silence.
- First verse: autumn night.
- Middle verse: morning air.
Here is the associated worksheet for this renhai:
http://tinyurl.com/677fv6
One last note about Renhai is that, like Rengay, the verses show a linked series of stand-alone haiku which all reference a common theme. There is no need for them to be narrative, although writers are free to do so.
Next: Another Renhai Example
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