789. Coming Days

a koi rises
to meet a falling leaf —
cool afternoon



Hototogisu said...

so simple. so beautiful. thank you.

floots said...

great moment
took me back to fishing trips
hearing the carp suck food from the surface

Tikkis said...

In Finland at least Crucian carp hibernates in the muddy bottoms? They change their 'blood' somehow containing some alcohol, as antifreeze in the cars?

But the poem is very clear. Got an idea that the carp only rises,
& see one falling leaf ?
Another story?

polona said...


Masago said...

Hototogisu-san: Ah so, thank you.

Floots: Thanks. Enjoyed your memory of carp. This haiku was inspired by huge koi ponds in a local apartment complex.

Tikkis: Interesting info on carp. Do they actually hide out in the mud itself?

Interesting idea about seeing one falling leaf...

Polona: Thank you!

Masago said...

I decided to change "autumn afternoon" to "cool afternoon". I noticed that "autumn" and "falling leaf" was somewhat redundant and that "cool" provides more of the portending of the coming winter I had in mind.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

Well done---

Collin said...

I was thinking the same thing Vaughn, nice change. An excellent haiku.

Natalia L. Rudychev said...

A moment beautifully expressed!

Tikkis said...

Abt carp: (In Finland's muddy ponds living one, according to Internet)
Yes by itself. Then it generates etanol into it's blood-system...

There it 'sleeps' under the thick ice, (can be iced down to the bottom,) the whole winter, and not even needs so much oxygen...

Carp also lives in former lakes become later wet swamps, and the system is the same, only swamps are warmer and swamps don't get so deeply icy. Lack of oxygen there is.

Carp meant here: Carassius carassius

The Crucian Carp (Carassius carassius) is a member of the family Cyprinidae, which includes many other fish such as the common carp, or the smaller minnows.

Pat Paulk said...

Never know til you taste it. So natural in a man made setting.

Masago said...

Andrew: Thank you.

Collin: Thanks for the confirmation.

Natalia: Thanks.

Tikkis: Thanks for the extra info on carp.

Pat: An astute observation. Thanks!