2009-01-03

Renhai Reflections 64: At the Bottom


At the Bottom

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

A snowflake falls
haphazardly to the bottom —
country road.

A tear on her cheek —
the taxi recedes into darkness.

Bright white field —
the tip of some paper
barely appears.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0111.htm

[Note: this rengay is a translation from a Renhai I recently wrote in Esperanto.]

14 comments:

Devika said...

Nice series, Masago..

I couldn't find the notes at the link..it only says some archive number..

But this gives ample scope for multiple readings :)

wishes,
devika

John McDonald said...

yes nice one
john

jem said...

Lovely one - lots of emotion in this. Room to add our own stories too - especially in the middle one. I love the choice of 'haphazardly' in the first.

Happy New Year - I look forward to reading on with you!

Janice Thomson said...

Ditto Gem - "haphazardly" is a perfect combination with a winding country road. Very much enjoyed this Renhai Vaughn.

polona said...

well done - this one tlks to me about the vagaries o life

Masago said...

Thank you all!

Devika, are you still having trouble with the notes link?

Devika said...

Yeah I could get to it.
Thanks Masago :)

devika

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

"haphazardly"- I'd hate to get that at a spelling contest! :)

Borut said...

Winter: the bottom line!?:)

get zapped said...

I so enjoy the imagery portrayed in these.


HapPY NeW YeaR!

Devika said...

came for a new one, Masago


come again later :)

wishes,
devika

Masago said...

Devika, thanks for your patience... we are currently working on a three-way Renhai. :-)

Devika said...

Okay good to know...

Whichever way you choose Masago, poetry is what interests me..

Ofcourse your notes are helpful, though now I know to deduce the connections :)

But this Renhai poems are kind of mental excercise to me...we have discussed that earlier..anyway

wishes,
devika

Paula said...

That is beautiful in both Esperanto and English.