2009-01-17

Renhai Reflections 68: Where There's Smoke


Where There's Smoke

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Janice Thomson (jt)

I switch chairs
but more than the smoke
finds me again. /vs

The campfire's snap and crackle — /vs
Dad carves us hot-dog sticks. /jt

Ghost stories —
we hunt for dead branches
to add to the fire. /jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0114.htm

[Janice was yearning for warmer days and so we wrote this Summer Renhai. Also, it is unique in that it is somewhat more narrative than usual, check the notes for details.]

12 comments:

Devika said...

Good set to have this rainy winter morning :)

here, cold is catching up again...

wishes,
devika

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I love it! Wish I was there, outside at night at the fire. :)

真秀 said...

I've been pouring over a few haiku blogs and stumbled upon yours. I enjoy your realistic and optimistic style. I especially enjoy your shot of humor! Issa has always been a favorite of mine for just that reason.

I think you have really nailed down the essence of haiku on your site.

I'd be honored if you would swing by my page and enjoy the work of a novice! www.poolofzen.com

Matthew

John McDonald said...

good one again
john

Pamela said...

lived that on so many camping trips.
what a memory stir!

Gillena Cox said...

V3 my favourite

"ghost stories/we hunt for dead branches..." like the utaposition there.


much love
gillena

polona said...

this has a nice feel. well done again, you two!

Janice Thomson said...

It worked - today we have bright sunshine after 2 weeks of some of the densest fog I've seen in years. :)
Thanks for your comments.

Masago said...

Thank you all so much!

Pool of Zen: Thank you for visiting and for your kind words. I'll be visiting your blog too.

Bill said...

Well done. I echo Gillena's comments.
Of course, my principal memory of campfires is from bivouac at Fort Benning, Georgia in 1957-58. I don't think we told ghost stories, and our squad leader was no substitute for Dad.

jem said...

Good one - summery but not impossible to imagine on a rainy winters day.

I like the first verse - I picture annoyances following you, perhaps insects or people you are trying to lose.

I love the last one too - the choice of the word 'dead' to describe the branches is perfect.

Borut said...

Ghost stories:
Snap and crackle -
Fire for the dead.