2009-01-27

Renhai Reflections 71: Relaxed Embrace


Relaxed Embrace

A Renhai by Janice Thomson (jt) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

Hemlock branch —
a chunk of frost flowers
still attached. /vs;jt

Cattails at the pond's edge — /vs
a moat surrounds each stem. /jt

A warm breeze
slowly melts the ice —
a leaf springs free. /vs;jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0117.htm

[With this post we offer a little more spring hope. The Renhai is also unique in a certain way. Check the notes for more information about this and about "frost flowers".]

11 comments:

Pamela said...

another one that gives me a memory dip

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

nicely done!

polona said...

ah, lovely... and it gives some hope of spring...

Margie said...

Very well done!
I enjoyed it!

Margie

Devika said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Devika said...

I have a doubt -- when in partnership Renhai

You discuss everything --every word that would go in a poem -- and then each one put them in different lines in their hand...

or one writes a line and leave it to the other to fill up??

This is not a mockery of the situation. Its my real doubt...Because, Masago, you once suggested me writing a Renhai with you :)

And I found the piece a bit too disjointed except when seen individually

wishes,
devika

Masago said...

Thanks all!

Devika, remember that Eastern linked verse is not like Western verse. Each stanza is an image, a word picture and is more or less independent except for the theme and linkages. If one expects to see a story unfold they will be disappointed. Renhai, rengay, rengay, and renku are all about variety and the linking not the narrative (although we have experiment with more narrative renhai).

As for writing them, normally each person writes a line of the middle verse and then one writes verse 1 and the other writes verse 3. We discuss each other's contributions as the poem is developed each step of the way. Please read the links at the end of this overview for more info:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renhai/

I.e.:

A more detailed introduction:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renhai/message/938

A step-by-step tutorial:
http://tinyurl.com/3b

Devika said...

Thanks Masago, for the kind response :)

I need to see the links, will do it..

thanks again,
devika

John McDonald said...

great stuff
john

Pat Paulk said...

To the little leaf that could:Cheers!

Janice Thomson said...

My thanks to everyone too!