Renhai Reflections 173: Valentine Blues

Valentine Blues
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Gillena Cox (gc)

the blue of two
tanagers enmeshed in
the caricature bush /gc

the phone laid on its cradle /gc
roses nestled in tissue /vs

a letter arrives
with your golden lock
intimate melody /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0216.htm

[And one final valentines renhai.]

Renhai Reflections 172: Waves of Love

Waves of Love
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Zhanna P. Rader (zh.r)

Deployed abroad —
on St. Valentine's Day,
his roses. /zh.r

A breeze sways the curtain — /vs
my darling's whispering lips.... /zh.r

The faint rush
of distant waves — longing
to hold you tight. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0215.htm

[Yet another Valentine's renhai.]

Renhai Reflections 171: Cupid's Aim

Cupid's Aim
A Renhai by Betty Kaplan (bk) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

so long ago...
in a bed of red roses
that first kiss /bk

his and mine carved in a heart... /bk
our walk together, a dream? /vs

yet now to feel
your warm embrace, and touch
each soft lip... /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0214.htm

[Several of us wrote renhai for Valentine's Day. Here is another written with Betty Kaplan.]

Renhai Reflections 170: Rippling Petals

Rippling Petals
A Renhai by Janice Seward (js) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

Together again —
overwhelmed by ripples
of pure joy. /js

Gentle waves in the pond /js
reflect in your eyes. /vs

Floating rose petals,
each one carrying a message
from my heart. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0213.htm

[A Valentine's renhai with my wife, Janice...]

Renhai Reflections 169: Layers

Layers
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

A small break in the clouds —
wolves bay at a full moon.

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0212.htm

[Thanks to Bill and Devika for the choice of title, "Layers".]

Renhai Reflections 168: A Renhai, Step by Step: Title

A Renhai, Step by Step: Title
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

A small break in the clouds —
wolves bay at a full moon.

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

From the beginning, with one or two exceptions, we have always added titles to our renhai. It is usually something that adds a little hint about the theme or sub-theme or suggests some extra little angle in the reading. When collaborating there is commonly some brainstorming and then the best title is agreed upon by consensus.

Here are some thoughts I have:

-Wisps of Crisp Air
-Wisps of Crispness
-Crisp Wisps
-Between Layers
-Under Layers
-Cracked Open
-Frigid Reposing
...?

Perhaps you have some preferences or other ideas. Tomorrow we'll choose something and complete this renhai!

Renhai Reflections 167: A Renhai, Step by Step: Completed Middle

A Renhai, Step by Step: Completed Middle
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

The link to the third verse could be one of many possibilities. I am struck by the first word, "howling" in "Howling north wind", and immediately I see the image of wolves baying at the moon:

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

A small break in the clouds —
wolves bay at a full moon.

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

With the wolves baying at the moon, which by implication is appearing through the break in the clouds, there is as sense of being underneath, below... a kind of sheltering, a feeling which appears in each verse. This is therefore a secondary theme.

Next, and finally, a title...

Renhai Reflections 166: A Renhai, Step by Step: First of the Middle

A Renhai, Step by Step: First of the Middle
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

So far we have the following:

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

[middle, line 1]
[middle, line 2]

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

With the reverse process the next step is to write a middle line that references a theme and links to one (or both) of the other verses. With the storm in the first verse and howling wind in the third, I am inclined to extend this weather-related feeling in the middle verse and go with that as the theme.

For the linking, I think of the creek in the first verse... what if that image is reflected in the sky where weather seems to originate?... perhaps something like the following where the break in the clouds appears as the creek "breaks" the terrain it flows through:

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

A small break in the clouds —
[middle, line 2]

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

Now, the other middle line...

Renhai Reflections 165: A Renhai, Step by Step: Another verse

A Renhai, Step by Step: Another verse
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

Possible links:
-Snow, storm, whiteness.
-Layering, flatness.
-Velvet, type of fabric.
-Body of water, aquatic (frozen).
-Channel, line.
-Bed, peacefulness.

From this list I am impressed by the idea of the snow storm and the frozen creek lying silently, perhaps not so warmly, under the pure untouched, newly fallen blanket of snow. In a flash of inspiration this verse emerges:

Howling north wind —
I snuggle a bit deeper
under the sheets.

The links are therefore:
-Covered, sheltered.
-Snow storm / North wind.
-Cloth, material (Velvet / Sheets).
-Bed.

Now, on to the middle lines...

Renhai Reflections 164: A Renhai, Step by Step: Some Linking

A Renhai, Step by Step: Some Linking
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

I just now notice that I used word "snow" twice (in the first and second lines). We could change the first line to something like "A passing blizzard's". Or, the second line can be changed to something like, "layer of white velvet". Let's go with that. If you see something better, please leave a comment. So we have:

A snow storm's
layer of white velvet —
creek bed.

The next step is to write the other 3-line verse, which sandwiches the middle 2-line verse. There are a few ways to do this but for this Renhai let's look at some possible links (and we'll let the theme emerge on it's own). Here are some possible links that come to mind (maybe you can see others):

-Snow, storm, whiteness.
-Layering, flatness.
-Velvet, type of fabric.
-Body of water, aquatic (frozen).
-Channel, line.
-Bed, peacefulness.

The next step is playing with these links and discovering another verse that fits. Please stand by...

Renhai Reflections 163: A Renhai, Step by Step: Inspiration

A Renhai, Step by Step: Inspiration
by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

For something a little different, in the next few days, I plan to reveal a solo renhai I have been working and do so step by step.

The inspiration for this Renhai begins in the middle of the night as a picture, an image, in my sleepy mind. The image emerges as this 3-line haiku:

A snow storm's
layer of velvet snow —
creek bed.

The forward Renhai process starts with the middle verse and works outward to the other verses. This haiku image, however, starts us off in the reverse direction and will either end up being the first or the third verse. More to come in the next day or two...