2006-03-16

604. Moon Sliver

a moon sliver
in the western sky--
birth pains

3 comments:

Pat Paulk said...

Like this Vaughn! Very good!

Aurora said...

I like this too. I would replace the comma with a dash, or do without it altogether and put an exclamation mark after the last line to enhance that very important haiku aha! factor.

Masago said...

Aurora, I like your dash idea and have made that revision, thanks.