[A Rider Brother Journey: This is part of a ten-part serialization of the story of a special hike I made with my Brother in 1989. It is based on a journal entry I made on August 19, 1989. It was recently revised into this semi-haibun format.]
The full text of the story to-date.
It is Friday evening, August 18, 1989. We are visiting our folks in British Columbia, Canada. A high mountain overlooks the town to the North East. My brother Gord and I prepare to ascend the summit. We pack a small brass cannister with time capsule items including a folded sheet of parchment with messages, a dollar, two shiney new 1989 pennies, and three dried beans.
639.
summer evening...
more than beans and pennies
sealed in brass
About Masago
- Masago
- Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
- From "The Haiku Anthology" I became interested in Haiku and I have since written numerous haiku, senyru, and tanka. "Masago", my haiku pen-name, means "grain(s) of sand" in Japanese. I have recently started learning Esperanto and Japanese. A few years ago I developed a new eastern verse form which we now call 'Renhai'.
My Blog List
-
-
-
Ice Can Look Nice4 years ago
-
A Dream, A Prayer8 years ago
-
-
-
6 Hantu yang Muncul di Toilet11 years ago
-
distant thunder12 years ago
-
welcome spring14 years ago
6 comments:
Sounds like a soul-filling experience.
I just discovered your poems through a comment yo made somewhere.
may I play with your words?
summer evening...
pennies, beans, words,
enclosed in brass
what do you think? too painterly like that?
i like the text, it sure has potential as a haibun. but i read the haiku as a mere resume of the text.
i'm no expert but the haibun usually works better if there is a subtler link between the text and the haiku.
Tim: Thanks, I hope you enjoy the rest of the posts in this series.
Pearl: I'm pleased you "dropped by". Nice variation.
Polona: Thanks for the feedback. I think you are right. I don't claim that this series is proper haibun, however, I have posted a revision of the haiku. Original:
summer evening...
several things are put
in a brass capsule
Revision:
summer evening...
more than beans and pennies
sealed in brass
I love this idea!! I may look for old journals of mine from the past, too.
Always more sealed in the cannister!! Good one!!
Tim/Pat: Thanks.
Andrew: Glad to be an inspiration, please let me (us) know when you've created something.
Post a Comment