sumo ring...
a tiny spider descends
on a silk thread
[Notes]
About Masago
- Masago
- Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
- From "The Haiku Anthology" I became interested in Haiku and I have since written numerous haiku, senyru, and tanka. "Masago", my haiku pen-name, means "grain(s) of sand" in Japanese. I have recently started learning Esperanto and Japanese. A few years ago I developed a new eastern verse form which we now call 'Renhai'.
My Blog List
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Ice Can Look Nice4 years ago
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A Dream, A Prayer8 years ago
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6 Hantu yang Muncul di Toilet11 years ago
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distant thunder12 years ago
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welcome spring14 years ago
9 comments:
love the sense of theatre and contrast
I can hear its thunderous steps!! Love it Vaughn!!
great juxtaposition!
Aurora: That's okay, that reads nice too. My problem with it though is that its L3 has a definite 3-beat rhythm; "on a silk thread" can be read as 2-beat or 3-beat rhythm. I try to maintain a 2-3-2 rhythm (paralleling the Japanese 5-7-5). Thanks for the feedback however. :-)
Thanks Floots, Pat, and Polona!
There is not so much contrast between cobweb and sumo: both very strong items!
Auroras idea is fascinating and a good one, also.
Aurora, are you English-born? Your version is perhaps more basic-English, as Masagos as it is translated from Finnish :-)
Follow always the rules of any rhytm leads into vitiated rice pudding?
Collin: Thank you.
Tikkis: Thanks, I like Aurora's idea too.
"Haiku" with no rhythm or syllable structure is really a free-form, three-line poem, in my opinion. Such poetry is no less valid, beautiful, or poetic. Is either style of poem rice pudding? Let the reader decide. :-)
Aurora/Tikkis: I don't know about being Finnish but my Grandfather come from Sweden.
I love the opposites. :)
Sweden! Finland was a part of Sweden up to 1808! But spoken mostly Swedish? After 1808 we were part of Tsarism - Russian, and from 1917 we are called ourself as an independent state, whatever it ever means. Now we are in EU :(
Language I meant was merely the use of word - order inside the sentence.
Seeking after how the words and lines 'nestles' inside the borning new poem is fascinating! In any language?
Andrew: Me too, and don't we all have some opposites? Thanks.
Tikkis: Maybe we are long-long-lost cousins. :-) Thanks.
Aurora: Thank you for your kind words. I have written a few haiku in Hebrew and a couple in Japanese. These are fledgling attempts as I am quite a novice in both these languanges...and English too for that matter. :-)
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