by Masago: Rengay #23 (Feb 3-9, 2008) Summary
Behind the Curtain
The crack of ice
over the sound of a trickle —
frozen waterfall.
Behind the curtain, motionless —
the boy's turn to go on stage.
Ice fishing
all day long — my lunch,
the only bite.
Her friend holds
the half-spud... the needle's tip
sinks through.
A snowboarder plows under —
his partner offers his hand.
Tap-tap, tap-tap —
a woodpecker chips deeper
into the trunk.
The central theme in this rengay is "Out of Sight". Various things are out of sight in each verse: water, boy, fish, needle tip, snowboarder, Insects.
Please click here for link details and other notes:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pcytHc47X3uCVLomrTDT7cw&gid=0
Click here for the previous rengay in the series.
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12 comments:
"Out of Sight"
I wasn't thinking of that at all - not sure what I was thinking about anyway. :)
Including the woodpecker: loud but, out of sight?:)
another fine series vaughn
thank you
especially liked the woodpecker
(it's what we're all doing) :)
it becomes obvious when someone points it out :)
well done again
okay.. I shuddered with the 1/2 spud.
ha ha.
this was very good. But that is what I have come to expect!
Andrew: :-)
Borut: In some cases, yes.
Floots: Thank you! Right, some days my neck is mighty sore. :-)
Polona: :-) Many thanks.
Pamela: I shudder with that one too. Yikes. Thank you.
Ditto Floots on the wood pecker. Being seeing some huge ones around here the last couple of weeks. Vaughn thank you for your encouraging words for my great-neice. She needs a little boost in her confidence in English class.
Pat: Thanks (it is pleasure to support your great-niece, I think her piece was very well done).
Each part of this is very strong (I love the first hokku), which makes the coherence of the whole all the more impressive.
Bill, thank you for your kind words.
I'm new to your site Masago - and fairly new to rengay too. But I think I'll stick around as its captivating. I love the way you reveal your intentions, and cross reference everything so carefully. It feels like entertainment and instruction all rolled into one.
jem: Thank you for these kind words.
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