Renhai Reflections 53: Winter Romance

Winter Romance
A Renhai by Janice Thomson (jt) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

On the frigid lake
pushing a homemade iceboat
his eyes meet mine. /jt

Down the hill on cardboard, /vs
her foot entangles his. /jt

I meet the girl
from class while skating at
the frozen creek. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0101.htm

[This is a spin-off of Renhai 100, see the notes for more information.]

Renhai Reflections 52: Frozen Fun

Frozen Fun
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Janice Thomson (jt)

Our family
goes out to skate on
the frozen creek. /vs

Down the hill on cardboard, /vs
a boot comes tumbling after. /jt

On the frigid lake
my brother nudges our
homemade iceboat. /jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0100.htm

Renhai Reflections 51: Autumn's End

Autumn's End
A Renhai by Yvonne Myers (ym) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

Dying leaves
from a fragrant tree fall on
the welcome mat. /ym

Clouds heavy with snow — /vs
mouths of children open, waiting /ym

First flakes —
a young girl marks out
a happy face. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0099.htm

[Yvonne Myers is the moderator of the Off-the-wall "haiku" group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/offthewallhaiku/

We have written rengay and other projects together since 2007.]

Renhai Reflections 50: Chilling Portents

Chilling Portents
A Renhai by Janice Thomson (jt) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

Maple tree —
through silent branches
crisper winds. /jt

Deepening morning fog — /jt
cackle of south-flying geese. /vs

Each afternoon
the sun dips earlier —
distant range. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0098.htm

Renhai Reflections 49: Chewing Things Over

Chewing Things Over
A Renhai by Daniela Bullas (db) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

A woodpecker knocks
on the family tree —
No one at home. /db

Off in the doghouse — /db
our pooch all chewed out. /vs

Bird feeder —
a squirrel reaches,
helping itself. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0097.htm

[Note: this Renhai has a unique aspect in it. Please check the notes for details.]

Renhai Reflections 48: Ekalfwons

Ekalfwons (Snowflake)
An acrostic Poem by Vaughn Seward

Evergreens catch them as they fall
Kids roll up a monster ball
Across the lake, ice exposed
Lilting skaters, juxtaposed
Friendly banter turns to clash
With pressed balls of alpine ash
Opened heart, a Christmas rose
Nippy breeze, a droplet froze
Settles on her tiny nose

[We have several Renhai in different stages of development which I hope to start posting in the next few days. In the meantime here is a little reverse acrostic winter poem I recently wrote.]

Renhai Reflections 47: Summer

Summer
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Janice Thomson (jt)

Driftwood tangle —
gentle tongue of the tide
steals the beach. /jt

Weathered fence post — /vs
a straw hat sways in the wind. /jt

We cross the field
in Grampa's model T -
sun-tinged hood. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0096.htm

[Note: this Renhai involved an experiment in a specific type of verse linking. Please check the notes for details.]

Renhai Reflections 45B: Leaving Behind

[Adjusted]

Leaving Behind
A Renhai by Jerry McKenzie (jm) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

A tuft of coyote
with a strand of horse hair —
barbed wire. /vs

Motionless ski-lift chair — /jm
a mit snagged in the rungs. /vs

Zipline view —
a wild goat vaults into
a dogwood thicket. /jm

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0092.htm

[This Renhai was originally posted November 15, 2008. A reader suggested that the phrase "on a sliver" in verse 2 seemed to say too much and be too deliberate. The word "wild" in the final verse seemed as well be too deliberate.

I reviewed these comments with Jerry and we have come to the following decisions:

1. We agree that "sliver" says too much. We were trying to convey that the mit was left behind but not just laying there as the wind would have, over time, surely blown it away. We have decided to replace the second line with "a mit snagged in the rungs"

2. We envisioned that the zipline rider was in a wilderness setting here in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. We chose "wild goat" to distinguish it from a dometic one and as we wanted to emphasize the goat's wildness. The goat was perhaps surprised by the zipline rider and was making an effort to get away. We could have used "Mountain Goat" as this is the exact species we had in mind but it seemed unnecessary to name the species in this case as we feel it throws off the rhythm of the verse. We will therefore retain "wild goat"

Thanks to Patrick Gillespie (upinVermont) for making these suggestions.]

Renhai Reflections 46: A Glimpse Within

A Glimpse Within
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

My upside down
and backwards face in this
new spoon.

Clouds float across
an alpine valley lake.

The puppy's nose
grows huge upon each
Xmas bulb.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0094.htm

Renhai Reflections 45: Moist Potentials

Moist Potentials
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward & Janice Thomson
Written November 11-15, 2008

The sound of a slap...
on the beaver pond's surface
ripples radiate. /vs

A steep coastal cliff - /vs
playing the thermals, a hawk. /jt

Steam engine -
above the buried coalfields
a rising fog. /jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0093.htm