Renhai Reflections 49: Chewing Things Over

Chewing Things Over
A Renhai by Daniela Bullas (db) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

A woodpecker knocks
on the family tree —
No one at home. /db

Off in the doghouse — /db
our pooch all chewed out. /vs

Bird feeder —
a squirrel reaches,
helping itself. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0097.htm

[Note: this Renhai has a unique aspect in it. Please check the notes for details.]

Renhai Reflections 48: Ekalfwons

Ekalfwons (Snowflake)
An acrostic Poem by Vaughn Seward

Evergreens catch them as they fall
Kids roll up a monster ball
Across the lake, ice exposed
Lilting skaters, juxtaposed
Friendly banter turns to clash
With pressed balls of alpine ash
Opened heart, a Christmas rose
Nippy breeze, a droplet froze
Settles on her tiny nose

[We have several Renhai in different stages of development which I hope to start posting in the next few days. In the meantime here is a little reverse acrostic winter poem I recently wrote.]

Renhai Reflections 47: Summer

Summer
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Janice Thomson (jt)

Driftwood tangle —
gentle tongue of the tide
steals the beach. /jt

Weathered fence post — /vs
a straw hat sways in the wind. /jt

We cross the field
in Grampa's model T -
sun-tinged hood. /vs

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0096.htm

[Note: this Renhai involved an experiment in a specific type of verse linking. Please check the notes for details.]

Renhai Reflections 45B: Leaving Behind

[Adjusted]

Leaving Behind
A Renhai by Jerry McKenzie (jm) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

A tuft of coyote
with a strand of horse hair —
barbed wire. /vs

Motionless ski-lift chair — /jm
a mit snagged in the rungs. /vs

Zipline view —
a wild goat vaults into
a dogwood thicket. /jm

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0092.htm

[This Renhai was originally posted November 15, 2008. A reader suggested that the phrase "on a sliver" in verse 2 seemed to say too much and be too deliberate. The word "wild" in the final verse seemed as well be too deliberate.

I reviewed these comments with Jerry and we have come to the following decisions:

1. We agree that "sliver" says too much. We were trying to convey that the mit was left behind but not just laying there as the wind would have, over time, surely blown it away. We have decided to replace the second line with "a mit snagged in the rungs"

2. We envisioned that the zipline rider was in a wilderness setting here in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. We chose "wild goat" to distinguish it from a dometic one and as we wanted to emphasize the goat's wildness. The goat was perhaps surprised by the zipline rider and was making an effort to get away. We could have used "Mountain Goat" as this is the exact species we had in mind but it seemed unnecessary to name the species in this case as we feel it throws off the rhythm of the verse. We will therefore retain "wild goat"

Thanks to Patrick Gillespie (upinVermont) for making these suggestions.]

Renhai Reflections 46: A Glimpse Within

A Glimpse Within
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)

My upside down
and backwards face in this
new spoon.

Clouds float across
an alpine valley lake.

The puppy's nose
grows huge upon each
Xmas bulb.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0094.htm

Renhai Reflections 45: Moist Potentials

Moist Potentials
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward & Janice Thomson
Written November 11-15, 2008

The sound of a slap...
on the beaver pond's surface
ripples radiate. /vs

A steep coastal cliff - /vs
playing the thermals, a hawk. /jt

Steam engine -
above the buried coalfields
a rising fog. /jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0093.htm

Renhai Reflections 44: Leaving Behind

Leaving Behind
A Renhai by Jerry McKenzie (jm) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

A tuft of coyote
with a strand of horse hair —
barbed wire. /vs

Motionless ski-lift chair — /jm
a mit snagged on a sliver. /vs

Zipline view —
a wild goat vaults into
a dogwood thicket. /jm

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0092.htm

[Note that I have added an index of Seasons, Writers, and Themes to the Renhai Archives. Just click on the links at top of any archive. I will also be gradually converting the other 60 or so renhai that have been written to this new archive format.]

Renhai Reflections 43: On the Tip

On the Tip
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (solo)

Steep cliff —
a tiny spruce seedling
clings to life.

Early morning Frost —
each blade coated.

A first flake
settles on the tip —
Pine needle.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0091.htm

Renhai Reflections 42: Twilight Trappings

Twilight Trappings
A Renhai by Janice Thomson (jt) and Vaughn Seward (vs)

Plumes of mist
rise from the river valley —
pre-dawn stillness. /vs

Pensive twilight clouds — /jt
a crow gazes east. /vs

Soft shadows —
a sand-crane collars
his last fish. /jt

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0090.htm

Renhai Reflections 41: Crossing Overhead

Crossing Overhead
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (solo)
Written October 30, 2008

A high-flying jet
intersects honking geese —
southward bound.

His toy airplane again
misses the old cat.

The police chopper
circles back overhead —
dead of night.

Click here for notes (in the new archive format):
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0089.htm

Instead of posting a Renhai on one day and its notes on the following day, we shall provide a link to the archive copy with accompanying notes with a single post as was done today.

Renhai Reflections 40: Quiet Rhythms

(With notes)

Quiet Rhythms
A Renhai by Gillena Cox (gc) & Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 29 - Nov 4, 2008

The rippling river —
a blue morpho butterfly
glides across. /gc

Silk cotton leaves undulate — /gc
a spider spins out below. /vs

From the footbridge
the boy pulls out a penny...
the sound of ploop! /vs

Theme: River
Season: Summer
Process: Reverse

Link 1-2: Motion; water and leaves.

Link 2-3: Falling off something overhanging (bridge / branch); Insect (Spider / Butterfly).

Link 3-1: Across the river; Through the air (Butterfly / Penny); Small object (Butterfly / Penny).

Note 1: Copper, which pennies are commonly made of, is associated with the colour blue as when it oxidizes it turns a bluish/greenish colour.

Note 2: There is the *Trini superstition that silk cotton trees are a haven for spirits called douens.

*People of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago.

Renhai Reflections 39: Quiet Rhythms

Quiet Rhythms
A Renhai by Gillena Cox (gc) & Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 29 - Nov 4, 2008

The rippling river — a blue morpho butterfly / glides across. /gc
Silk cotton leaves undulate — /gc a spider spins out below. /vs
From the footbridge / the boy pulls out a penny... the sound of ploop! /vs

Renhai Reflections 38: Chromatic Transitions

Chromatic Transitions
by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Toshiaki Koike (tk)*,
Written: Oct 1 to Nov 5, 2008

Rain puddle —
the traffic light changes
green to yellow. /tk

Tall downtown building — /vs
coloured leaves in the window. /tk

Withering bush —
a branch's image ripples
in the pond. /vs

Theme: Reflections
Season: Autumn
Link 1-2:
-Green & yellow / to Coloured
-Traffic / Downtown

Link 2-3: Leaves / Branch
Link 3-1: Pond / Puddle

*Toshiaki Koike was born in Iwakura, a town near Nagoya, Japan. Toshiaki attended Shizuoka University where he studied Japanese Literature and was the leader of the University's haiku circle. It was there that he met his future wife Carol who had come to Japan from Canada as an exchange student. Through a later exchange of tanka and haiku poems a romance developed and they were eventually married. Ten years later they moved to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada where Carol's mother was living. Their story is more fully described here:

http://www.ualberta.ca/~publicas/folio/34/20/06.html

Masago met Toshiaki at the 2006 Edmonton Summer Arts Festival where Toshiaki was displaying some of his artwork. They became fast friends and have been meeting regularly every two weeks since then to discuss English language, Japanese language & culture, and haiku poetry. You may remember the Rengay that Toshiaki and I wrote together last January:

http://tinyurl.com/6qvb9g

Renhai Reflections 37: Chromatic Transitions

Chromatic Transitions
by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Toshiaki Koike (tk)*,
Written: Oct 1 to Nov 5, 2008

Rain puddle — the traffic light changes / green to yellow. /tk
Tall downtown building — /vs coloured leaves in the window. /tk
Withering bush — a branch's image ripples / in the pond. /vs



*Toshiaki, originally from Iwakura, Japan, currently lives in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

Renhai Reflections 36: Sounding

(With Notes)

Sounding
A Renhai by Trish Shields (ts)* & Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written October 22 to 29, 2008

A small crab
races across mudflats —
autumn squall. /ts

Honeymoon cruise ship stroll — /vs
a kiss on his red cheek. /ts

Its barnacled snout
breaks the calm surface —
gushing blowhole. /vs

Theme: Sea Life
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2a:
-Racing / Cruising & strolling.
-Motion across mudflats / Motion across the sea and across the deck.

Link 2b-3:
-Part of the face (Cheek / Snout). Barnacles, typically on whales, also have mouths.
-Calm / Red; Opposites (Calm: sedate; Red: flushed with excitement).
-Blowhole / Kiss; the shape is round, one inhales through the mouth and a whale through its blowhole. Kisses can also be blown to a loved one, "gushing" with excitement at the greeting.

Link 3 to 1: Blowing

Notes: The "sea life" in verse two is, of course, humans on board a cruise ship. The kiss in verse two hearkens to the whale rising to the surface corresponding to the man out of the depths of loneliness. In this case, the depths being plunged into are emotions. The crab could be a metaphor for being alone, vulnerable, caught by life unawares.

*Trish lives on Vancouver Island, in British Colombia, Canada.

Renhai Reflections 35: Sounding

Sounding
A Renhai by Trish Shields (ts)* & Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written October 22 to 29, 2008

A small crab / races across mudflats — autumn squall. /ts
Honeymoon cruise ship stroll — /vs a kiss on his red cheek. /ts
Its barnacled snout / breaks the calm surface — gushing blowhole. /vs

*Trish lives on Vancouver Island, in British Colombia, Canada.