2008-11-13

Renhai Reflections 43: On the Tip


On the Tip

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (solo)

Steep cliff —
a tiny spruce seedling
clings to life.

Early morning Frost —
each blade coated.

A first flake
settles on the tip —
Pine needle.

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0091.htm

15 comments:

Devika said...

Suspense filled Renhai?!

seemingly pine needles falling from above on our thinning hair..is the climax!? :-)

the seedling on a cliff growing for ten years -- unbelievable..

the middle one in interesting, but i like the first one :-)

wishes!
devika

upinVermont said...

Hi,

The use of "tiny" and "clings", for me, places the author between the reader and what is being described - a feeling of attachment.

The final haiku feels too artful - an image imagined rather than observed.

I look forward to your next effort.

Devika said...

I just read the second comment..

makes sense and may be true --

perhaps as usual i was "imagining" if it happens on my head...:-)

wishes!
devika

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

very cold, but very nice :)

John McDonald said...

well done vaughn
john

haiku-shelf said...

Well done!
(I`m shivering!)

Bill said...

Cool.

polona said...

feels cold but excellent work!

Borut said...

Crossing overhead –
Twilight trappings On the tip:
Quiet rhythms…

A couple of good ones!:)

Janice Thomson said...

Good one Vaughn. Lovely imagery.

Pamela said...

to me, it is like you are finding these in a pensieve of my memories!

Masago said...

Thank you all!

Devika: "thinning hair"... Haha!

upinVermont: Thanks for visiting and your comments. I see what you mean about the image in the last verse. However, we live in an old neigbourhood (circa 1932) with many large evergreen trees all around. It is almost impossible to look out a window and not see a branch from on of them. When the first snow flakes of the season begin to fall I am inclined to look out the window and watch them land here and there including on the tips of pine tree branches.

Borut: Love it.

Pamela: No "real" magic at this end. :-) Thanks.

Pat Paulk said...

"On The Tip" has a real edginess to it. Rings very true this time of year.

jem said...

Great - a strong sense of balance and fragility, and contrasts in colour between greens and whites. All wording feels very minimal and sparse, reflecting their scenes well.

Masago said...

Pat: So true (although down your way I imagine you don't see much of that, right?).

Jem: Thank you for your kind words.