get off my head
8 hours ago
2009-05-05
Renhai Reflections 103: Another Scoop
Another Scoop
A Renhai by John Daleiden (jd) & Vaughn Seward (vs)
An orange crane
lifts immense steel girders —
changing skyline. /jd
A piece of string in the beak — /vs
among tree buds, a new nest. /jd
Backyard sandbox —
the boy's backhoe lifts
another scoop. /vs
Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0020.htm
[This was written with John Daleiden (US) a year ago and was originally published in the Sketchbook, the Journal for Eastern and Western Short Forms.]
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10 comments:
Good series, Masago and John
'Another Scoop'- all the world seems a scoop to me, at times! :)
wishes,
devika
a good one
john
another enjoyable renhai
Great idea: icecream or sensation for the media? Many layers in that - and excellent to read in a loud voice.
Best wishes
Ralf
a strong collaborative effort.
John, I was particularly struck by your first 3 lines... I have been trying to extend beyond natural topics... this is an excellent example
I like it! :)
What wonderful images each of these verses give. Most enjoyable read.
2nd verse certainly timely -- the birds are sure busy around here.
***I always am interested in my word verifications and this one was "manduet"
appropriate give that your words harmonized beautifully on this "scoop"
Thank you all!
I love the way the theme carries through these. The real, the natural and the play. Very strong images.
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