2008-10-10

Renhai Reflections 22: Full Middle Verse Linking


The First Time

A Renhai by Betty Kaplan (bk), and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Apr 21-22, 2008

First time milking —
he squeezes hard but
nothing comes. /vs

Home from the strawberry farm — /bk
each finger stained winy red. /vs

Bake class 101 —
small noses coated in flour,
dough ready for tarts. /bk

Theme: Food Collection/Preparation
Season: Spring/Summer
Link 1 to 2a: Farm
Link 1 to 2b: Fingers
Link 3 to 2a: Tart/Strawberry
Link 3 to 2b: Body part covered/stained
Link 3 to 1: Learner(s)

This Renhai was written with Betty Kaplan of Florida. It is unique in that it was suggested by Betty that the three-line verses link to each of the 2 middle lines. It was therefore the first time that this was done with a Renhai.

10 comments:

Bill said...

Just catching up, Vaughn. I'm enjoying the renhai.

Devika said...

I think Renhai begins to teach me regression analysis all over again..

I should say that was tough study earlier..but poetry makes it easier here i suppose...:-)

the last one i liked..it happens with me often..even now :-)

see again!
devika

Borut said...

The first time... In a class of its own then!?:)

John McDonald said...

nice one
john

Blog Author said...

enjoyed reading haikus here
i added your link to my blog
thanks

Masago said...

Bill: Thank you for following along.

Devika: Thank you. Renhai isn't meant to tax you too much. :-)

Borut: *smile* Thanks.

John: Thank you.

Blog author: Thank you for dropping by and for the link on your blog.

polona said...

a lot of room for experimenting in this form, i see :-)
this one is cute

jem said...

Very sensory and atmospheric and fun too. I've never tried milking but I can see myself in the other two scenes.

Pamela said...

brought back some childhood memories.

Masago said...

Pamela: Me too. :-)