2008-10-05

Renhai Reflections 21: As a Flock


As a Flock

A Solo Renhai by Vaughn Seward
Written Sep 19, 2008

Morning sun —
boulevard trees laden
with yellow.

A gust takes up leaves,
carries them as a flock.

Each leaf
finds a place to land —
school yard.

Theme: Falling leaves
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Coming down (sun-rays / Leaves)
Link 2 to 3: Motion (off the tree / into the yard)
Link 3 to 1: Before / After (in the trees / on the ground)

This Renhai is somewhat narrative in that it depicts a scene I recently observed on the way to work one morning.

10 comments:

John McDonald said...

excellent vaughn
john

jem said...

The narrative works well - you've painted a scene I feel I could climb into. But equally each part work in itself as per your renhai rules.

kouji | haiku said...

beautiful. :O

polona said...

this one has a beautiful flow and a true autum feel

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

the first 3 lines are beautiful and stand alone ...

Winter Moth said...

These are excellent! They really throw you into the scene. :O

Devika said...

A real narrative there...
but then each stands alone well too...
Enjoyed both -- the full narrative and the seperate Renhais as well..

thanks Vaughn!
see again!
devika

Magyar said...

Leaves on the gust, a flock.
>Is there anyone that could not sense that -vision-?< Grand! _m

Borut said...

Renhai reflections: Going back to school or school yard!?:)

Masago said...

Thank you all!