2008-10-05
Renhai Reflections 21: As a Flock
As a Flock
A Solo Renhai by Vaughn Seward
Written Sep 19, 2008
Morning sun —
boulevard trees laden
with yellow.
A gust takes up leaves,
carries them as a flock.
Each leaf
finds a place to land —
school yard.
Theme: Falling leaves
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Coming down (sun-rays / Leaves)
Link 2 to 3: Motion (off the tree / into the yard)
Link 3 to 1: Before / After (in the trees / on the ground)
This Renhai is somewhat narrative in that it depicts a scene I recently observed on the way to work one morning.
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10 comments:
excellent vaughn
john
The narrative works well - you've painted a scene I feel I could climb into. But equally each part work in itself as per your renhai rules.
beautiful. :O
this one has a beautiful flow and a true autum feel
the first 3 lines are beautiful and stand alone ...
These are excellent! They really throw you into the scene. :O
A real narrative there...
but then each stands alone well too...
Enjoyed both -- the full narrative and the seperate Renhais as well..
thanks Vaughn!
see again!
devika
Leaves on the gust, a flock.
>Is there anyone that could not sense that -vision-?< Grand! _m
Renhai reflections: Going back to school or school yard!?:)
Thank you all!
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