(With Notes)
Sounding
A Renhai by Trish Shields (ts)* & Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written October 22 to 29, 2008
A small crab
races across mudflats —
autumn squall. /ts
Honeymoon cruise ship stroll — /vs
a kiss on his red cheek. /ts
Its barnacled snout
breaks the calm surface —
gushing blowhole. /vs
Theme: Sea Life
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2a:
-Racing / Cruising & strolling.
-Motion across mudflats / Motion across the sea and across the deck.
Link 2b-3:
-Part of the face (Cheek / Snout). Barnacles, typically on whales, also have mouths.
-Calm / Red; Opposites (Calm: sedate; Red: flushed with excitement).
-Blowhole / Kiss; the shape is round, one inhales through the mouth and a whale through its blowhole. Kisses can also be blown to a loved one, "gushing" with excitement at the greeting.
Link 3 to 1: Blowing
Notes: The "sea life" in verse two is, of course, humans on board a cruise ship. The kiss in verse two hearkens to the whale rising to the surface corresponding to the man out of the depths of loneliness. In this case, the depths being plunged into are emotions. The crab could be a metaphor for being alone, vulnerable, caught by life unawares.
*Trish lives on Vancouver Island, in British Colombia, Canada.
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9 comments:
wow..haiku is multifaceted
more than i could ever imagine to imagine...
thank the Lord for such masters, i mean it 100%, Masago..
i think i said sometime earlier
Masago-know-haiku, but without knowing haiku :-)))
anyway, love to have sessions with and without notes...
but, does that make any difference to me, the insane mind i'm...
i am destined to live in the moment...and learns only that much..forgets all else..easily...
thats a boon or a bane? even i myself fail to decide..
thanks for being so nice, Masago..
wishes
devika
Ah, the depth!:)
Coming from the Island myself this was most enjoyable. All the images are something I've often seen - even then honeymooners :) Great work from you both.
very interesting!
Thinking of it, as non-analytically as possible, an often quoted old saying, kind of Moby-Dick-whale-like, surfaces in my mind: A treasure lies deep in the sea, but if you seek safety…, it is on the shore’!?:)
cleverly woven together :)
"British Colombia" What a concept!
Great interaction between the two of you on this one.
Wish I had known Trish is on Vancouver Island. Pat and I just spent several days there. We did get to visit Susan Constable. Do you know her?
Thank you on behalf of Trish and me.
Devika: Your words are very kind and humbling. Thank you.
Borut: Well reflected. And yes, I seek shelter on the shore (deep in the shore). :-) Thanks!
Janice: :-) Thanks. Perhaps we could do a three-way Renhai together an another Island theme.
Bill: Thanks. I do not know Susan. BTW next time you are in these parts perhaps swing by Edmonton. :-)
But Masago -- my grin there was supposed to suggest my folly :-)
i am in no way fit to humble others, i feel...
to me words flow often witout my intervention...and many a time had to clairfy again...
but then without the communication, the blogging makes me numb too..
i said this, i'm afraid my words touched a wrong chord and it is your kindness that you thanked me. i appreciate the kindness most.
wishes!
devika
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