Renhai Reflections 34: Tiny Voices

(With Notes)

Tiny Voices
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 28-29

Dusk deepens —
the first tiny voices echo
across the neighborhood.

Carved autumn gourd —
a candle lit in its head.

Porch light —
a werewolf's face reflects
in the glass door.

Theme: Halloween
Season: Autumn
Process: Reverse
Link 1 to 2: Starting (First / Candle lit).
Link 2 to 3: Head / Face.
Link 3 to 1: Reflect / Echo.

Renhai Reflections 33: Tiny Voices

Tiny Voices
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 28-29

Dusk deepens — the first tiny voices echo / across the neighborhood.
Carved autumn gourd — a candle lit in its head.
Porch light — a werewolf's face reflects / in the glass door.

Renhai Reflections 32: As They Sleep

(With Notes)

As They Sleep
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 25-27

A bright half-moon
as I start the early shift —
vacant street.

Empty Doughnut shop —
a police car rolls up.

A full moon
rises behind an oak —
leafless branches.

Theme: Bare/Empty
Season: Autumn
Kigo: Moon, Leafless
Process: Reverse
Link 1 to 2: Street/Car.
Link 2 to 3: In front / Behind; Rolling up / Rising.
Link 3 to 1: Lunar.

Renhai Reflections 31: As They Sleep

As They Sleep
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 25-27

A bright half-moon / as I start the early shift — vacant street.
Empty doughnut shop — a police car rolls up.
A full moon / rises behind an oak — leafless branches.

Renhai Reflections 30: Moving On

(With Notes)

Moving On
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 17-21

A bear scrounges
on the steep hillside —
shriveled berries.

Vase of dried roses —
good times, now passed.

The scent of leaves
burning in the backyard —
oil drum.

Theme: Shriveled
Season: Autumn
Process: Reverse
Link 1 to 2b: Good times passed (v3, bear's summer).
Link 2a to 3: Vase / Drum.
Link 3 to 1: Consumed (Berries / Leaves).

Notes: In the "old days" (circa 1950?) one could burn leaves and/or garbage in one's backyard. There was often a ubiquitous aroma of stuff being burned. Note that this was the first solo Reverse Renhai.

Renhai Reflections 29: Moving On

Moving On
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (Solo)
Written 2008 Oct 17-21

A bear scrounges / on the steep hillside — shriveled berries.
Vase of dried roses — good times, now passed.
The scent of leaves/ burning in the backyard — oil drum.

Renhai Reflections 28: On the Sand

(With Notes)

On the Sand
A Renhai by Gillena Cox (gc)*, and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 10-18, 2008

A stroll on the beach —
another flip-flop among
the high tide debris. /vs

Chip-chip shells splayed on the sand — /gc
the fishermen spread their nets. /vs

An empty bucket
beside the sculptured castle
giant sandy feet. /gc

Theme: Beach
Season: Spring
Format: 5-7-5, 7-7, 5-7-5
Process: Reverse
Link 1-2: Shells / washed-up flip-flops.
Link 2-3: Bucket / Shellfish
Link 3-1: Feet / Slippers

Notes: Chip-chip Butterfly Shells, small wedge shaped clams of assorted colours and patterns, usually found at low tide on the Trinidad East Coast beaches of Mayaro, Manzanilla and Balandra during chip-chip season, February through April. They make excellent cocktails and shellfish dishes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10997119@N07/1019661544

Gillena is from Trinidad in the Caribbean and so is Vaughn's wife, Janice. This Renhai is therefore based on common experiences.

Renhai Reflections 27: On the Sand

On the Sand
A Renhai by Gillena Cox (gc)*, and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 10-18, 2008

A stroll on the beach — another flip-flop among / the high tide debris. /vs
Chip-chip shells splayed on the sand — /gc the fishermen spread their nets. /vs
An empty bucket / beside the sculptured castle giant sandy feet. /gc

*Gillena lives in Trinidad, West Indies.

Note: Inspired by a recent blog comment (thanks JEM), I have decided that from now on we'll post just the Renhai and on the following day post the related notes.

Renhai Reflections 26: On Another

On Another
A Solo Renhai by Vaughn Seward
Written Oct 17, 2008

Side of the road —
the flat tire is placed
against the car.

An old broken poplar
leans hard on another.

The senior gent
raises a knobbly cane —
passing bus.

Theme: Leaning, support
Season: All Season
Link 1 to 2: Flat / Broken.
Link 2 to 3: Tree / Wooden.
Link 3 to 1: Bus / Car.

Renhai Reflections 25: Highbush Gleanings

Highbush Gleanings
A Renhai by Jerry McKenzie (jm), and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 10-16, 2008

The dust and roar
of the old Case thrasher —
field of barley. /vs

Highbush cranberry aroma — /jm
sound of chickadee staccato. /vs

We make toast
from whole grain rye —
boiling jelly pot. /jm

Theme: Harvesting
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Roar / Staccato; Dust / Aroma.
Link 2 to 3: Cranberry / Jelly.
Link 3 to 1: Grain (Rye / Barley).

This Renhai was written with Jerry McKenzie who owns a farm not too far from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Highbush cranberries can be made into a delightful jelly preserve despite its distinct and somewhat unpleasant odour. Perhaps the chickadee will harvest these berries in the coming weeks and months. The last verse is a word image of Jerry's kitchen the day he and his wife turned their highbush cranberry gleanings into jelly.

Renhai Reflections 24: On the Edge (Reverse Renhai)

A few weeks ago I got to thinking about the process of how we have been writing Renhai. In those early days, over a year ago, it made the most sense to start with the middle verse and work out, as if the Renhai was a seed that was sprouting. I wondered, "Did it have to be this way? Could a Renhai actually be written in a reverse manner?" I subsequently sketched out a way it could be done and Hortensia, who wrote "Miles Around" with me, agreed to give it a try. We were delighted with the experience. Here is the result:

On the Edge
A Renhai by Hortensia Anderson (ha), and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Sep 13 - Oct 10, 2008

Autumn equinox —
golden sun pours over
the crimson maples. /ha

Floating scented candles — /vs
Peach oil streams into the bath. /ha

Mountain waterfall —
a leaf at the very edge
clings to a rock. /vs

Theme: Pouring
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2a: Sun / Candle (flames).
Link 1 to 2b: Sun / Peach (colour & shape).
Link 3 to 2a: Floating (Leaf / Candle).
Link 3 to 2b: Waterfall / Bath (water related).
Link 3 to 1: Under, below.

The process we used in writing this Reverse Renhai is described in the following steps:

1. Each partner chooses 3 or 4 themes/links.
   
   
2. Each partner chooses one theme/link they like from their partner's list. In this case Vaughn chose "Pouring" from Hortensia's list, and Hortensia chose "Under, below" from Vaughn's list.
   
   
3. Each partner writes a 3-line haiku referencing both themes/links (i.e. "Pouring" and "Under, below"). Vaughn wrote the verse about a leaf clinging at the edge of the waterfall and Hortensia wrote about the sun pouring over maples. These verses were written in parallel but they could have, of course, been written in succession. However, I think it is more fun to write the two 3-line verses independent of each other.
   
   
4. The partners jointly choose one of the themes/links to be the central theme. In this case Hortensia and I chose "Pouring". The other theme/link automatically becomes the link between the two 3-line verses (in this case "Under, below").
   
   
5. Each partner writes a single line that references the theme and links to their partner's 3-line haiku. In our case we decided to link our lines to both of the 3-line haiku (as was first done in the "The First Time" Renhai with Betty Kaplan). The resulting two lines together form the middle verse. In this case it is important that the two lines be written one after the other so that the middle verse is formed as a proper 2-line haiku. In this case Hortensia wrote about the poured peach oil and Vaughn then wrote about the scented candles.
   

The end result is a Renhai that is indistinguishable from a "normal", forwardly written Renhai. As with yesterday's Renhai the final arrangement of lines and verses was adjusted according to our poetic tastes.

Renhai Reflections 23: Festive Table

Festive Table
A Renhai by Polona Oblak (po), and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Oct 7-10, 2008

Stubble field —
deer tails flash
in the mist. /po

A bed of withering grass — /vs
wasps feed on windfall apples. /po

Festive table —
forks appear as mother
brings out the pie. /vs

Theme: Covered
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Grass / Stubble; Crop (Stubble / Apples).
Link 2 to 3: Food, eating.
Link 3 to 1: Appearing (pie) / Disappearing (deer).

This Renhai was written with Polona Oblak of Ljubljana, Slovenia. The theme, "Covered" in this Renhai is a little on the subtle side. In verse 1 fields are covered with mist and the deer are somewhat covered or hidden from view (deer, when sensing danger, expose their white hind side as a warning to others, and dash for cover). In verse 2 the fallen apples cover the grass and the wasps to some extent cover the apples. In verse 3 the food, dishes, cutlery, and the elbows of the hungry eaters cover the table.

Technical note: Polona actually wrote the first line, "wasps feed on windfall apples." and then Vaughn wrote the other line, "A bed of withering grass". It was agreed that the verse reads better with Polona's line appearing second. The 1st and 3rd verses were also switched around for poetic reasons (function trumps form).

Renhai Reflections 22: Full Middle Verse Linking

The First Time
A Renhai by Betty Kaplan (bk), and Vaughn Seward (vs)
Written Apr 21-22, 2008

First time milking —
he squeezes hard but
nothing comes. /vs

Home from the strawberry farm — /bk
each finger stained winy red. /vs

Bake class 101 —
small noses coated in flour,
dough ready for tarts. /bk

Theme: Food Collection/Preparation
Season: Spring/Summer
Link 1 to 2a: Farm
Link 1 to 2b: Fingers
Link 3 to 2a: Tart/Strawberry
Link 3 to 2b: Body part covered/stained
Link 3 to 1: Learner(s)

This Renhai was written with Betty Kaplan of Florida. It is unique in that it was suggested by Betty that the three-line verses link to each of the 2 middle lines. It was therefore the first time that this was done with a Renhai.

Renhai Reflections 21: As a Flock

As a Flock
A Solo Renhai by Vaughn Seward
Written Sep 19, 2008

Morning sun —
boulevard trees laden
with yellow.

A gust takes up leaves,
carries them as a flock.

Each leaf
finds a place to land —
school yard.

Theme: Falling leaves
Season: Autumn
Link 1 to 2: Coming down (sun-rays / Leaves)
Link 2 to 3: Motion (off the tree / into the yard)
Link 3 to 1: Before / After (in the trees / on the ground)

This Renhai is somewhat narrative in that it depicts a scene I recently observed on the way to work one morning.

Renhai Reflections 20: Participation

Want to Try?

If anyone would like to give this Renhai form a try, please send me an email at this address:

vaughn [at-sign] sewardconsulting [dot] com

Renhai Reflections 19: Three-way #3, Skaters Hold Hands

Hortensia & Vaughn

This is the third and last Renhai in this three-way series.

Skaters Hold Hands
A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs), and Hortensia Anderson (ha)
Written Jan 6-14, 2008

Across blue skies —
ice crystals in cirrus clouds
go flying. /ha

Skaters at the pond hold hands — /ha
a chilly breeze fills the air. /vs

He pours her a cup
of marshmallows and cocoa —
pine wood flames. /vs

Theme: Filling
Season: Winter
Link 1 to 2: Movement (Ice crystals / Skaters & Breeze).
Link 2 to 3: Chilly breeze / Warming flames
Link 3 to 1: Marshmallows / Cirrus clouds

The second line of the middle verse, "A chilly breeze fills the air" is the same line that Vaughn wrote for the middle verse of yesterday's "Hanging in There" Renhai. As with the first two Renhai, these last two Renhai share a common line, this one written by Vaughn.

Note that the other line in the middle verse is the "Skaters at the pond hold hands" from the first Renhai in the series. In summary, here are three common lines:

a chilly breeze fills the air /vs; Shared between:

• Skaters Hold Hands (Hortensia & Vaughn)
• Hanging in There (Vaughn & Zhanna)

crows perch on ice-glazed branches /zr; Shared between:

• Hanging in There (Vaughn & Zhanna)
• Ice-Glazed Branches (Hortensian & Zhanna)

skaters at the pond hold hands /ha; Shared between:

• Skaters Hold Hands (Hortensia & Vaughn)
• Ice-Glazed Branches (Hortensian & Zhanna)

Click here for the three Renhai shown as a unit:
http://tinyurl.com/yp25zk