2008-12-28

Renhai Reflections 62: Endeavouring Further


Endeavouring Further

A Renhai by Ron Seward & Vaughn Seward

Block & tackle —
the wagon box raised
onto the wheels.

North face ascent —
we tackle the last leg.

A new lure
for his tackle box —
will it help?

Click here for notes and linking details:
http://cflat7.drivehq.com/Renhai_0109.htm

[The idea behind this Renhai was conceived by Ron (father of Vaughn). He proposed using a word with several meanings (homonym) and have it appear in each of the three verses. Check the notes for further details about how this Renhai was written and some background info about each verse.]

15 comments:

Pamela said...

good idea -- there are so many more words0 that you could play with. just today I was teasing someone and I said sow seeds, sew clothes, ... and so what?

Devika said...

Lure for the tackle box-- didn't get that, Masago

I used to go fishing in my chidhood and we used to have small nets..

and the boys used to have poles...they catch one or two by the time we have a dozen :))

but, i found the pole interesting..especially to allure the fish with a prey and then pull back..sort of a fun there...poor fish!

wishes,
devika

Borut said...

Pretty advanced stuff!:) Endeavouring further: tackling the subtleties of English!??:)

John McDonald said...

a nice togetherness
john

Janice Thomson said...

A unique idea that works well within a Renhai structure.

Word verification seems to agree: WOOt!

get zapped said...

like the flow of these.

upinVermont said...

Nice to check back in. I've been pouring time into my own blog.

An interesting experiment - not sure how successful it is as a 'poem' (in the western sense) - but then I'm not sure of the aesthetic goal behind some of the Renhai. Some hold together better than others.

This Renhai leaves me with no lingering resonance - seeming more for the wordplay.

Always a pleasure to read your efforts though...

Masago said...

Thank you all!

Devika: a fishing lure: a hook with feathers that are attractive to the fish, recently bought and added to his box of fishing gear.

Janice: WOOt ...?

upinVermont: not intended to be a 'poem' or to be held together in the western sense...

Devika said...

You seem to have all the fun seeing him try hard to catch his fish...than I thought....

anyway, Best wishes for the New Year!

devika

Gillena Cox said...

a father son renhai in the Christmas season, Tis the season; Wonderful


much love
Merry Christmas
follow the 12 Days: a Christmas collaboration
http://myblog-lunchbreak.blogspot.com/

much love
gillena

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I like it! :)

polona said...

still exploring new horizons, i see :)
i like this one

Bradipo said...

Given your apparent interest in haiku, Esperanto, and father-son writing, I thought you might be interested in a group of Esperanto-language haiku that I wrote with my brother.

And, thanks for your recent comment!

--
Philip Brewer

Masago said...

Thank you all again, and Best Wishes in the New Year.

Philip: Thanks for dropping by and the link to your hajku. I have had a chance to read a few of them, tre bone!

jem said...

Great idea - and well executed. One of the most wonderful things about words is their versatility - how a single combination of letters and sounds can shift and change. Isn't language marvellous!