by Masago: Rengay #5 (Sep 30 - Oct 6) Summary
Remnants
Autumn morning — an old barn bites down / into the ground.
Abandoned farm truck... its door also in the box.
River valley — a rusted bicycle frame / lodged in an elm.
A small piece / of embedded barbed wire — tree trunk.
A yellowing telegram: "Coming Home Now".
Their initials / with nineteen-twenty-one — large, flat rock.
The first verse for this rengay was written early one morning on 2005 as we were leaving to go on a long trip. As we drove through the rural countryside I saw a very old abandoned barn. It seemed to me as if it was biting down into the ground.
A central theme of "remnants" was obvious from this first verse. Then, after writing the third verse, it occurred to me that it would be interesting if each verse's remnant reference got progressively smaller in size (but not less significant). The feet and inches equivalent sizes are: Barn (270' x 115'), Truck (13' x 5'), Bicycle (13' x 5'), Wire (6'), Telegram (6" x 4"), Initials (4" x 1"). The third theme of "lodged" was actually discovered quite awhile after the rengay was written.
Please click here for link, theme, and other comments:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pcytHc47X3uB-KAejxWOMMQ&gid=0
Click here for the previous rengay in the series.
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10 comments:
I actually thought you were going to call this one "Remnants". I like the explanation of the progression. Interesting stuff.
ditto with Aurora.
Or: The Remnants of a Progress!?
Ditto Andrew.
yes, 'remnants' was obvious an would make a good title.
i also saw 'lodged' or an equivalent but have missed the decrease in size
Thanks for your comments and feedback. The consensus is that it should be called "Remnants". I have therefore changed the title accordingly.
Borut: Yes, progress tends to leave behind remnants. :-)
the fact that you remember this and fit it together like a puzzle later is what really amazes me.
Pamela: *blush* :-)
I absolutely LOVE this. Love the construction, the levels of meaning, the nuances, that sparce perfect language - all of it! So well done.
pbsweeney: Thank you for your kind words. I hope you will come again for the other rengay in this series.
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