by Masago: Rengay #6 (Oct 7 - 13) Summary
Over the Rail
Yellow leaves / falling in the sun...like / flakes of snow.
Her lush blond hair — first gray pulled out.
Sudden gust... his toupee lifts off, over / the bridge rail.
We pass over, the muffler does not — railway crossing.
Lake-side autumn picnic — the boom box plays hits.
Roadside vendor — cobs of corn overflow / onto the ground.
This haiku was written from a personal experience of seeing leaves being shaken off a tree laden with leaves in the fall. A gust of wind knocked off a whole "layer" of leaves and they drifted to the ground with the sun, low in the horizon, shining behind them. It instantly reminded me of a fresh snowfall being knocked off a tree in the wind. Both images are relatively uncommon. The snow has to have just fallen and be very dry, the temperature -20C or lower.
I'm not a big fan of comparisons and allusions in haiku but I felt it was essential in this one as all my other attempts at expressing this experience in haiku were pathetic. I posted this version of the haiku somewhere back in 2005/2006 and at least two individuals said this struck a chord with them (they had the same experience). I therefore felt justified in using it as the "hokku" in this rengay.
This was written without any idea of it telling a story. Later however, I noticed that one could easily envision a story about a family going out on an Autumn picnic.
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